humour

Health and Safety at Work: Awards Ceremonies

Professor Mal Archaic once again introduces our Friday Night is Health and Safety Film Night.

Hello, bon soir, .  This evening, we tackle the problem of Awards Ceremonies.  All of a sudden, normally sane celebrities becomes moved to emotion, trips, falls, tears and unwarranted exclamations.  Or the temptation to appear more profound than usual.  Really, just the same as an graduation ceremony at a regional university, eh, what? what?

Let us examine the perils of Hugh Laurie – in action –

Advertisements

Dullest blog ever – Dave Walker

This is a wonderfully funny parody of a totally inconsequential blog.  Made by a hilarious cartoonist, Dave Walker.

Posts includes such gems as:

Going for a walk

April 15th, 2013

I decided to go for a walk. I set off in my chosen direction. Eventually I returned to my starting point.

 

Straightening the doormat

February 7th, 2010

I noticed that the doormat was at a slightly crooked angle.  I reached down and moved the mat back into its correct place. The edge of the mat was then perpendicular to the door.

 

Sadly, the blog ran out of “uninteresting” things to say back in 2013.

Happily, it remains online, to make the rest of us look good!

http://www.dullestblog.com/

Naturally, it contains no pictures – too overexciting.  However, Dave Walker is now concentrating his blog writing time on his cartoon website – worth a look

Movement and other dangers

Once again, Friday night is Health and Safety Film night with our resident expert, Professor Mal Archaic.

Bonjour!  That’s your actual French, that is, mesdames et monsieurs.  Ce soir (or this evening) we consider the dangers of movement, travel and encountering postmen.  I bow and generally lean forward at 30 degrees to the great French Safety film-maker, Jacques Tati.  

Youtuber “cinefils 2002” has compiled a visual essay of some important safety information from Jaques Tati, which we will now view, while seated in a safe armchair, rigorously tested to European standards.  Please ensure that your popcorn, if used, is not so hot as to induce a burning sensation in the throat.  Are we sitting comfortably?  Then roll the cinetape, Francois!

Monty Python comedy

Friday Health & Safety: Mount Everest Expedition by Monty Python

Yes, Patrons, in 2018, back without popular demand: Friday night is Health and Safety Film Night at this particular blog circus tent.  I recently shared news of the Hairdresser’s Ascent and Blow Dry on Mount Everest, and found to my astonishment that stouthearted comedy fans had not seen it before.  Indubitably wayward.  For the safety and encouragement of comedic hairdressers everywhere, the facts must be made plain:

 

For non-hairdressing Pythons planning urban expeditions, this next exciting footage features important techniques, crucial to the vertically challenged.  Eagle-eyed observers will notice these groundbreaking techniques are similar to those ably demonstrated in early Superman and Batman tagteam wrestling TV spectaculars.

 

For non-domestic, high-rise challenges, teamwork and basic geography and geology is crucial, such as exhibited in this planning for the Kilimanjaro challenge.  This training film lasts 5 minutes – for the impatient, theres is less talky talky and more practical demonstration, don’t you know, from 3 minutes 50 seconds in, if you prefer to begin regarding the small screen from that point in the proceedings.  Tally-ho, toodle pip and send us a postcard from the summit.  Both of you.

 

 

silent movie, clown, Buster Keaton, Neil Brand

Review: Neil Brand Presents Buster Keaton

Last night, I went to see a Buster Keaton movie, ably accompanied by his musical partner for the evening: Neil Brand.

It was an early Christmas treat for me – and it was terrific in that quiet, enjoyable way of being served a delicious meal, where every course is a delight, but the chef isn’t in the room, waving his hands and being dramatic about it.

Right at the start, Neil introduced us to the public face of the actor – but explained that actually there were quite a few Busters in his own lifetime – and that the relaxed way he is represented in this photo (featured at the top of this post) belies the fact that Buster treated life as something to be attacked with energy.

As the first clip began to roll on the screen, Neil naturally began to play the piano alongside – no big dramatic announcement – it just happened, and was a beautiful, natural segue.

The “Silent Movies” of course weren’t silent when viewed – there would be a pianist, or organist playing – or if it was a posh cinema for the release of a major new film, perhaps sometimes a small orchestra.  The film itself had “titles” where a piece of card with words on it would appear on the screen, interrupting the moving picture – to let us know what was being said.

The first half of the night was introducing Buster the man and some delightful clips of his short films (the one in which he’s changing into swimming togs in a cubicle together with a large, hectoring man, where there is barely space for one skinny man is a particular joy).  It’s viewable on Youtube, but with an unsubtle organ accompaniment which I personally don’t enjoy so much as live piano accompaniment.

The full-length film being shown last night in the second half of the evening was “Steamboat Bill, Jnr“.  This is a classic – it is THE one where he stands, stone-faced, and the front of a house topples over him – his body going through an upstairs window.  It was a genuinely dangerous part of the movie.

This particular film was what began Neil Brand on his accompanist career – it was the first film he played music to.  He’s now able to play along with the film without having a musical score on the piano.  In fact, he teaches other people to accompany silent movies – and gives the same advice as to us the viewers – “Just hang with the main character – hang out with Buster Keaton.”  And then we simply spent the next hour with an ingenious, charming clown who made us laugh, gasp and watch in wonder.

Although I’m a Buster Keaton fan, have read Paul Merton’s books “Silent Clowns” (which features Keaton, among others) and though our family have a DVD of “The General” and watched it many times – this presentation by Neil Brand still had fresh joys to offer.

So – keep an eye out for silent movies with live accompaniment at your local independent cinema – they’re becoming more frequent.  And if Neil Brand is making a presentation – do go out and see it, even if it’s -5 degrees at the bus stop on the way home! (which it was, last night).  It will be worth it.  Here’s a taster introduction by the man himself.

Humorist, Photographer, Earthling

Terry Border describes himself as “Humorist, Photographer, Earthling” on his website.

As well as the photo series of books with wiry limbs (see featured photo above this article) he is also a punning facial hair model:

moose+stache – this is part of a series if you have a friend with facial hair which you would like to gently mock.

And a series of imaginative reconceptions of Paint Chips – yes, paint chips – that ordinary,

(more…)