COMEDY: Friday night is Health and Safety Film Night here at ,& where we turn over the page/station/magazine/blog to a certain Prof Mal Archaic for an evening.  The fact that he is a figment of our collective imagination does not deter him from turning in a faultless performance as an overly-conscientious academic.

Professor Mal Archaic:  I am sorry, I simply do not have the time to read introductions, as I am nearing the end of my 8,000 page postdoctoral thesis, snappily titled “”Health and Safety Films: ‘The Horror’, examinations of the dark corners of the cinema world.”

As part of my academic investigations, I have come across not one but TWO useful safety films for our examination this evening.  Both feature the confident, glass ceiling breaking designer to super human beings: Edna Mode.  In the first, she is introduced by the highest echelons – the very top tier of the ra-ra skirt which is the Fashion World and it becomes clear the danger of ignoring her advice.

We then hear her very sound advice on clothing for those seeking to save the planet.

Roll the films Rufus!  Beowulf – my foaming tankard of Viking low-calorie, low-salt, vegan beer, please.”

Her safety fashion advice?  Two words.  No capes.