Guest Post: 15 tips for a successful long distance relationship

Today’s guest post is used with permission from Monte Celia Parker – Caio, Monte! – who wrote this post for her personal blog, while studying Italian in Bologna, 4,000 miles from her boyfriend.  What she recommends for maintaining a good relationship longdistance is personal, but I thought there were enough great ideas to be worth repeating, to inspire others to personalise and adjust to the significant other in their life.  Also, I think a few of these ideas are superb for keeping in vital touch with close friends who don’t live nearby.  (That sounds a contradiction: close but far away!)

Here’s her post:

People have always told me that long distance relationships are hard–don’t do them. However, I found someone who I didn’t want to let go of even though I would be 4000 miles away, so lo and behold I would have to navigate the dreaded LDR (Long-Distance Relationship).

I’m going to say something right now that will shock you.

This long-distance relationship is incredibly EASY. That’s right, it’s not really a struggle for us.

Verona by Monte Celia Parker

Verona Photo: Monte Celia Parker

There are 2 reasons for this.

1: I’m studying abroad, which means there is an end-date. We won’t be apart forever, we just have to last one semester. Reason 2: we have 15 different ways to spice things up from a whole continent away. Here is what we have found helps the most to make this Long Distance Relationship fun and easy.

1. Open Communication

Tell each other EXACTLY how you’re feeling at all times. Don’t hold anything in, don’t bottle up your feelings. Treat each other with RESPECT when delivering your messages, but be clear and open. Speak the truth with great love. That is how you will be best equipped with the tools you need to meet each other’s needs and feel happy and fulfilled in your relationship.

2. Talk Daily

Yes, daily. It doesn’t have to be for long, but FaceTime, What’sApp, or call once a day for a minimum of 10 minutes. Sharing this time is important to show that you prioritize your partner and that you don’t want to go a single day without them.

3. Cook

Find recipes that you both like and cook them at the same time, or on the same day! Cook while skyping each other so that you are literally cooking together! Doing the same activity at the same time feels intimate and special.

4. Watch Movies/TV Shows

You can either choose movies to watch on your own and then call to discuss them, or you can call each other and sit on the phone while watching the same movie at the same time. It’s fun to try to sync up your tv’s by pressing play at the exact same second. This gives you something to connect on, and is a fun way to share free time.

5. Book Club

Read the latest New York Time’s best seller or read the same autobiography. Either way, you’re both creating things you have in common and have yet another excuse to come together to analyze and discuss what you are reading and learning.

6. Apps (Couple App, Trivia Crack, Snapchat)

Apps are so fun. There’s an app called Couple, if you’re feeling particularly gooey–you are able to draw on the same page together, send your location, and “thumbkiss” through the screen. We had fun exploring this one. We then challenged each other to Trivia Crack, and enjoyed competing against each other. Finally, snapchat is perfect for sharing a gallery of your day, to give your partner a better idea of what you are doing and what your life is like while they aren’t around.

7. Date Night

Dress up, sit down to a meal, light some candles, and just have a skype dinner date and then watch the same movie together. Or do whatever date-y things you like to do. Drink the same bottle of wine. Get romantic from afar! ❤

8. Share your thoughts immediately

We have a rule where even though there is a time difference (which means I wake up 6 hours before he does), I will text him whenever I think of something small I want to tell him. He does the same after I fall asleep. That way, we both wake up to multiple texts from the other person, showing us that our partner thought about us even while we weren’t directly talking.

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Photo: Monte Celia Parker

9. Do activities together (like BuzzFeed quizzes)

There have been multiple FaceTime sessions where we just go on BuzzFeed and take the same quizzes. We guess what each other’s answers are, and share our personal ones. We learned so many fun dumb facts about each other this way, and learned about ourselves too!

10. Give each other space

You need to have TRUST in your partner. Trust that they love and care about you no matter what they are doing. You need to have this so that when it comes time for them to go off and do something fun with their friends, you are comfortable with the silence. While you should talk every day, you can’t talk ALL DAY every day. Give each other space to have a life, so that there is more to talk about when you do come back together.

11. Have competitions

Map My Run, an app that tracks running, allows you to start a competition with other members on the app. He and I decided to start a competition to see who can run the most amount of miles in one month. The result is yet to be determined, but I think I’m winning. 😉 You can have competitions of any kind, this is just one example.

12. Share health and fitness goals, and hold each other accountable

On the topic of running and fitness, you can make goals for yourself–maybe you both want to go 3 days without dessert. Support each other and share the difficulties, and raise each other up. Try to work on self-improvement together!

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Photo: Monte Celia Parker

13. Write letters/send postcards

If you’re feeling particularly sweet or old-fashioned, letters and postcards are incredibly romantic because they’re tangible. When you receive a letter, you know that the same paper was physically held and written on by your partner. You get to hold onto a piece of them.

14. Send each other gifts

Maybe it’s for a monthaversary, maybe a birthday, or maybe just because!–gifts are a great way to show someone you’re thinking of them.

15. Plan a trip to visit each other

Sometimes the distance will feel overbearing if you have no idea when you will get to see that person again, so plan a trip! Plan a trip, and make the most out of it–think of fun things to do together that you don’t get to do apart: visit museums, take tours, and show them your favorite places in town. Let them integrate into your life for at least a little bit. It’ll give you both something to look forward to, and will make the distance not seem unbearable.

These are my tips to survive, and THRIVE in any long-distance relationship.

 

Comma & Co: If you’d like some more sunshine and positive outlook – and gorgeous impossibly romantic Italian locations and foods…. I recommend a visit to Monte Celia Parker’s blog, which is a mere hop, skip and leap of the finger over to the screen.

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